ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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