tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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