get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
