Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
