I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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