Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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