I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
