Please, let me fuck your mom
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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