how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
