is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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