i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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