You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
