sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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