If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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