How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
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