Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
