It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
apparently the secret to your success is patron
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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