i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Can I color on your dick again?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
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