Duck Duck Cougar?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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