It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize