i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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