I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
