shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
