you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
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i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
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Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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