I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
