omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
