Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize