she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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