in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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