Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
