ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
