hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
