We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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