Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
