he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
