I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
it wasn't lemon gatorade
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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