OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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