I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
