As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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