He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
