you mean i was at the winter classic?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
