I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
