He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
