go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
