I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
