He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Randomize
