I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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