You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize