Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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