i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
