Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
