3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
What drink are we having for lunch?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
