ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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