My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
