how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
