i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize