its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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