I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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