you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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