i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
