Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
