Pappa wants mamma naked
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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