Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
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