Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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