actually, I'm a sock model
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
