She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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