please come you make the beer taste better
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
