STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
