The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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